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jinxwhysper
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Name: i'll never tell...
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Gender: Female
Interests: i write poems.
Expertise: i suck at writing poems.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  jinxwhysper
Member Since:
10/22/2004
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| there is nothing like a neurotic sleep deprived night to help me feel alone
even after midnight girl talk, i still don't feel the same
push away and grasp for unreachable straws of hope
maybe another cigarette will calm my restless mind
there's nothing like a little drug to help me waste away inside
even after countless medication, i still secretly writhe
lips clinging to the filter as if it were the tongue of some imaginary lover
there's nothing like a restless discomfort with myself that i slowly kill with various smoke
watching cars as i constantly wonder if they see me
if they are curious what i'm doing, if they wonder what i'm thinking, making up scenarios
i guess it makes me feel artistic | | |
| I see the writing on the walls
The children in the halls
I see the people rushing
Anxious to get nowhere
Mothers drunk and beating kids
Promise me, never shut those eyelids
Mines detonate, resonate in my mind
After that, things never seemed quite right
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wake up dearest,
he's gone for good, you know.
nothing will bring back the love
you had together, that only remains with you...
precious, i know it hurts to admit he's gone
but letting go is better in the long run.
giving him up is the only way.
no injury can gain back in scars
what he took so gently in innocence.
darling you deserve better
than the one who left you alone in the cold.
telling yourself he's gone is the most painful.
accepting it is most rewarding though.
sweetheart, dwelling is done. this is too much.
the call of your heart is strong
but resilliance is your strength.
loving him is letting him go.
but bear honour to the memory of the love. | | |
| i wrote this a while ago and then i went back and edited it, so this is the copy that i submitted to dolphin that's going to be read today. *crosses fingers*
3rd cigarette smoke
by Hannah Ames
I always loved the way you sat there,
Smoking your 3rd cigarette, the vapor trails curling in upon themselves
And fading to nothing, while I anticipated the next passing car.
Talk flowed freely, as your stories and mishaps, tall tales
Entranced me, time after time, and made side conversation, for later reference.
Until the day there was nothing more to tell.
All the words became of spun sound, and crude jokes, tauntings.
How you fell in love with me will always remain an enigma in my mind.
I remember staring at your words in disbelief. I was slow on the uptake, yet again.
You thought I would abandon you, like the others, and you presumed my anger.
But I gave to you my word, a promise to never leave, and you were content.
You were too near, by then, to push away, however threatening you might have been.
I remember when you held me on the night I almost died.
You took your thumbs and wiped the tears from my broken mask,
Held me, told me not to cry. And you said I was beautiful.
I never wanted anything more than to believe when you told me that;
I wanted to believe you when you said everything would be ok.
I couldn’t believe you. I was not allowed to trust.
I still recall your jealous, possessive stares, from the early summer days
When you were an accessory to the group.
You still kept me and mine a secret, hidden in that alcove.
Even when what you heard made you sick, you protected me, kept me safe.
And I’ll always thank you for giving me that chance.
You hated the band that was playing that day in the park.
Your mournful afternoon shadow overpowered you.
Not realizing that your lack of nicotine was to blame,
You left, almost in tears. I was helpless to stop you.
I’ll never forget the days when I broke you.
I tore apart everything we’d had. Somehow I killed that.
The lies I’d built as a shield for you, and those for me,
They were never meant to harm.
I only lied about me when I didn’t want to know it was true.
Even though you may have left me for good,
Everything you taught me lingers,
Your one-track mind persists, adopted as mine.
But you’re gone now, just like you were on that warm summer day.
Just like your 3rd cigarette smoke.
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| this is a song. i really like the tune i made up for it. its about my relationship w/ my dad for those of you who were wondering
make me, break me
You cant make me
You cant break me anymore
You cant shake me
Cant forsake me anymore
Cant you see me
Cant you feel me to the core?
Cant you be with me
Just when I needed you most?
(chorus)
I’m tossing and turning
And trying to forgive you
Trying to forget what you made me
you’ve forsaken me
and it cut me
down to the bone
(end chorus)
could have saved me
could have played with me
could have tried a little harder to feel
could have prayed for me
could have waited for me
could have taken me away
could have made me believe you were there
(chorus)
I’ve been angry and thinking
I’ve made up my mind about you.
You are dead to me, if you wont listen to me
I wont be at your funeral. | | |
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